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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

If I Die Before I Wake

My editor, Angela James had a recent post where she asked if there were people who know about the different aspects of your life and who to contact?

In a nutshell, no.

Greg knows my local friends. I know his local friends. But neither of us knows each other's online friends. If I fell off the face of the Earth, I think I have enough friends who would email me eventually to find out where I was. I tend to keep in touch with people regularly, if not through their blogs, at least through emails.

I imagine when Greg finally gets to seeing what's on my computer, he might answer an email if he recognizes it as someone I've mentioned. But to be honest, I doubt he would. I get an average of 100+ emails a day. Multiply that by a week, or a month, or several months and the thing would probably shut down on its own.

I have a blank book where I jot down all my passwords. Maybe it's time I did an address book with all my local and online friends too.

Angie thought it morbid to discuss this. But I think it's sobering and important. We are connected through the ether more than ever before. I'd want to know if my friends were okay if they went missing for any length of time. It would be nice if their spouses or children let me know.

And my CPs are very dear to me. I'd want them to know if I kicked the bucket--if only so they could stop wondering why I'm not answering their emails. *g*

I've discussed this before but it bears repeating. Would your significant other know to email at least one of your online friends if anything should happen to you? Would you, if the shoe was on the other foot?


Tia Nevitt said...

My husband and I keep a password spreadsheet and we know of each other's online hangouts. He would probably put an announcement at both Fantasy Debut and my writing blog.

It was his idea and I thought it was a great one.

Maria Zannini said...

Good for you! I think it's more important than people realize.

I'm going to make a conscious effort to put together a list for both of us.

It doesn't have to be every single person we know, but at least the people we know well. I should also give him a quick lesson on how to post here.

J.K. Coi said...

I think so. I mean, he would definitely know to email one or two key people, who would then know many of the others to contact. But it's an interesting topic, and important to bring up. Maybe we don't know each other by sight, but there are certain people that we develop true friendships with online and it would be important for them to know if something should happen to you.

Maria Zannini said...

I agree. Not too long ago, someone on one of my Yahoo groups died. He'd been a long time member and would post occasionally.

I was so glad that his son took the time to come online and let us know.

What made it more poignant was that although this member never got published, another member listed him in her dedication. She felt his input was instrumental in making her book publishable.

Sometimes it's not so much what we accomplish, but what others accomplish through us.

terrio said...

I have no significant other, but I do have a friend that knows I live pretty much in my little virtual world. So if anything happened to me, she'd put it on the Eloisa James/Julia Quinn BB and it would spread from there. I have online friends I talk to pretty much daily in both email and blogs, I'm not sure what it says about me, but they'd notice if I weren't there.

Not that they'd always be upset that I finally shut up, just that they'd notice. :)

Maria Zannini said...

>>Not that they'd always be upset that I finally shut up, just that they'd notice.


I think the important thing is that people would miss you and that says a lot about you, Terrio.

terrio said...

Maria - you're too sweet. :)

Suzanne McLeod said...

Great post Maria, as always.

It really gets you thinking!

And thank you for the mention over at Patricia's Vampire notes ;)

all best

Suzanne xx

Maria Zannini said...

Suzanne: I always mention the GREAT authors. :o)

Thanks for popping in.

pamela hammonds said...

Weird timing. I couldn't sleep the other night and contemplated writing out some directions and placing them in an envelope titled: Only open if I'm dead.

Mostly I wanted to let my husband know where stuff was--family heirlooms I'd like my kids to have that he might not realize meant something to me.

He would have no idea how to reach writing friend unless he searched through my retro Rolodex. I have two--one for family contacts, another for writing contacts.

Maria Zannini said...

Hi Pamela!

That IS weird. I've had two other people tell me a similar story too.

My mother did what you did too. She wrote out a list of things she wanted her kids and grandkids to have and put the sealed envelope in a safe deposit box.

Marianne Arkins said...

Thankfully, three of my "online" friends are also "in person" friends (when we manage to get near each other... we're several hours apart), and they have my home phone number.

If I stopped posting or answering emails suddenly, they'd call and get my desperately mourning DH.

Still, it is definitely something to think about. A list is good.

Maria Zannini said...

That's great that you have local friends to spread the news if they need to.

I don't think people realize how important we become to one another, even though we've never met in person.

I have a few online friends who are as close as family.