Swami Maria Predicts

So what do you think 2010 will bring us? It's time for Swami Maria to make her predictions, but this time I have a guest fortune teller to help me out.

You see, now that I live in the woods, I've found an even more accurate soothsayer than myself. It's Harold, King of the Gypsy Squirrels.

Harold makes his predictions by leaving clues inside my swami hat, and they are as cryptic as they are wise. Only problem is...I have to interpret what those clues mean.

So let's see what he left me this time.

Mm...acorns, a bandage, and a ribbon. And here's one of my jump drives. Hey, I was looking for that!

Well, the acorns are easy. Gather yonder nuts and store for a rainy day. 2010 could bring hardships that are best weathered when you plan ahead.

The bandage...hmm. Either he's talking about the new and improved health care reform in the US, or he's using it as a metaphor to fix something broken. --same thing, I guess.

The jump drive I can interpret too. Technology will be going through another round of improvements. Expect more digital, less tangible.

The ribbon is tricky. It's bright and shiny, a piece of Christmas trim from a neighbor's package. Harold is a sentimental squirrel, an old softy who sings ballads and watches romantic movies. I'm sure he's telling us to keep the bonds with our friends and family strong and tight.

Wait a minute. There's something else in here. How odd. It looks like a small piece of charred wood. And it's warm to the touch.

Good old Harold. Could this be his wish that people wake up and treat each other with the warm embers of love and friendship?

[examines it for closer study]

Ahem...

[tosses it back outside]

Not funny, Harold!

That chunk of wood was warm all right. And slightly squishy. And ripe.

Bad squirrel. Bad!

I'm not even going to interpret that one.

Happy New Year, everyone! Don't pick up anything warm and squishy.