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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Crime Pays

...or at least telling the story does.

A few weeks ago on Smart Bitches, Sarah asked for comments detailing our honeymoon night as part of a giveaway for a Tempurpedic mattress.

Some of you already know about the back injury I've been living with for the past two years, so you can believe me when I say I couldn't type my comment fast enough. I would have given her every sordid detail for a chance to win that mattress!

Get your minds out of the gutter. We didn't have that kind of honeymoon. It was far more memorable than that.

I'll tell you the story in a minute. I just wanted to mention that I did not win the mattress, but I did get the runner up prize of a set of books from Tracy Anne Warren.

So, okay, the books probably won't help my back problem, but they do look deliciously sinful and are sure to keep me warm at night.

Thank you, Tracy and Sarah! I know I'm going to enjoy these.

And here's the comment that won:

Honeymoon Couple Robs Bank.
Film at eleven.

So help me, this is the gospel truth. We drove from Chicago to Canada for our honeymoon. That’s ten hours in a little, bitty MGB. We were starving by the time we arrived, so we unloaded our luggage and promptly set out to find dinner.

As usual, we got lost and ended up near their business district. The streets were deserted and even the new husband was ready to stop and ask for directions.

A police car rolled past us going in the opposite direction and both cops in the car just kept pointing and staring at us. By this time Greg is watching them from the rear view mirror and he tells me, “They’re turning around.”

Within seconds, the lights come on and they BLOCK our car. Both policemen get out of their vehicle and the older one unhitches the snap at his holster. (I’m getting a little worried now.)

The younger one starts asking us questions. Our names. Our address. Why we’re out here on a deserted street when all the businesses are closed. Meanwhile the other one is running our plates.

They separate us and ask the same questions all over again, then ask to search the car. We have nothing to hide, so we tell them to go ahead. Then they ask to check my purse, still asking the same questions but worded differently. My guess is they were trying to catch us in a lie.

We kept telling them: “We are on our honeymoon.”

Finally, after 45 minutes, the younger cop gives us back our ID and tells us we can go.

Evidently, two people, a man and a woman in a little green sports car with US plates had just robbed the local bank. We matched the description to a tee—down to the color of our clothes.

The only reason they let us go is because they found the robbers with the loot.

And that was the start of our married life.

We’ve never been back to Canada.

Considering Canadian police 'traumatized' me for life, I think I deserve the bed AND the books. LOL!

What do you think?

It was actually a wonderful honeymoon. The cops just gave it that REALITY TV flavor.

Who has honeymoon stories?


Babydoll said...

LOL No story...but I am ready for the honeymoon...

Yours sounds...adventurous. lol

Marianne Arkins said...

No story here, either. It went smoothly. A few weeks later, going to my SILs wedding, we pulled an OJ Simpson (remember way back when he had that commercial running through the airport? am I showing my age?) to catch a connecting flight. DH ran ahead of me, while I ran pulling our carry-on. He managed to hold the plane for ALL the rest of us (there were several folks).

I remember how disgruntled a bunch of folks on the plane were: "So YOU'RE the reason we're leaving late." and I thought -- if it had been YOU in our shoes, you wouldn't feel this way.


Anyway.. YES you should have gotten the mattress, too.

Maria Zannini said...

Tyffani: This whole marriage has been an adventure. The bank robbery blockade should have been my first clue. LOL!

Maria Zannini said...

Marianne: Can you imagine doing that now with all our tightened security?

They probably would have arrested him for running.

But, yeah, I can well imagine the people waiting on the plane. No one ever thinks what the other person is going through.

That's why if someone blows past me on a city street I always give him the benefit of the doubt. For all I know he could be taking his kid to the hospital.

Dru said...

Congrats on the prize packet.

You definitely should have gotten the mattress.

Have a good Wednesday.

Joanne said...

Hm, I can see that as a premise for a book, only the innocent couple is charged with the crime! Real life mirroring fiction ...

Maria Zannini said...

Dru: Yeah, right? For pain and suffering. LOL!

Maria Zannini said...

Joanne: You scare me, woman! I'm glad it never went that far. I look terrible in stripes.

Krista D. Ball said...

Oh, we use mono-tone clothing in our prison system. :)

Maria Zannini said...

Krista: What color? Orange. Cuz I don't do orange. LOL.

Meghan Schuessler said...

Yowzas that's some honeymoon story! I don't have a story yet unfortunately, but as soon as I do I'll share it with you :)

Maria Zannini said...

Meghan: When I said 'I do', I really did. :)

It's always an adventure with that man!

jackie b central texas said...

And the adventure continues and yet you still have good memories of the Honeymoon!
Our married life started off in December of 1981, nice beautiful sunny day on the 11th so wedding itself went fine as planned.. The next day however was a whole new ball game, from high 80's to mid 30's was not in the Honeymoon clothing choice plans to say the least...

Anyway as only went from our little hamlet in South Texas to New Braunfels to spend a weekend, hey man poor as church mice back then, we had a short journey from there to San Antonio to hit the River Walk and enjoy the open air restaurants and the Mall.. The other "fun" part of the trip was to go to the Wonder World Cave in San Marcos Texas, the cave that makes you "wonder why you went"... Anyway almost 29 years later we still have some good memories of that trip so just like your RL drama with the Canadian police life turned out fine in the long run!

Of course when we went home the rain, freezing sleet and extreme cold turned back into sunshiney days again! Yeah for good old Texas weather...
jackie ^_^

Maria Zannini said...

Jackie: Yup. That's Texas weather. I'll bet you pack in layers now.

I love San Antonio. That would make for a really great honeymoon.

hmm...I wonder if I could talk him into a second one. :o)

LLL Reviews said...

Ack, I'd be shaking in my boots.

Unfortunately, I have nothing memorable like the above- all events are limited to the bedroom ;)

Maria Zannini said...

Chasity: We were too dumb to shake. If we had realized how much trouble we were in, we might have been worried.

Fortunately, we were still too much in 'honeymoon' mode.

Barbara Ann Wright said...

I love your story! My husband and I honeymooned in a small hotel in Akumal in Mexico, and termites invaded our room very early in the AM one night. We couldn't find any staff who spoke English and our Spanish wasn't good enough to describe what was happening, so I grabbed the arm of a security guard and towed him back to my room. He went willingly and even seemed a little excited to be going. When he saw what was happening, though, he called it in on his radio and someone showed up with a jug of bug spray that smelled like gasoline and probably was. I think we gave up trying to sleep in our now stinking and filled with bug corpses room and waited for dawn on the beach.

Maria Zannini said...

Barbara: Oh, man. I think I would have slept out on the beach.

I wonder what the security guard thought you were offering when you invited him back to your room. :)

Sherri said...

I just read that out to my Canadian born parents. LOL

Oh, Maria you do not have a boring life!

Maria Zannini said...

Sherri: It's been a heck of a ride so far. :)

DEZMOND said...

I'm sure those books won't help your husband's back problems either :)))
Nice story, Maria ;)

Maria Zannini said...

Smart aleck. You're just a riot, Dez.

Shelley Munro said...

Great story, Maria. I don't have anything to add, although I'm envious of your Tracey Anne books. I've just read my first one of her books and loved it. Happy reading!

Mike Keyton said...

Shows how shifty you two must have looked. Part of me's still thinking the other lot were the fall guys, and somewhere you still have the money hidden

Maria Zannini said...

Shelley: I cracked one of the books open already and I think I'm going to like them.

I have to put it away until winter though. There is just too much to do right now. Work before pleasure.

Maria Zannini said...

Mike! Honestly! How can you say that?

We were only babies back then. When I look at my honeymoon pictures I realize now why our parents were so worried about us. --just wait until your kids get married.

Besides, if we really stole that money, I'd be living on sixty acres, not six. :)

Mike Keyton said...

When my kids get married I'll probably have to rob a bank myself : )

Maria Zannini said...

Mike: You better hope they elope. LOL.

Tia Nevitt said...

Nope, I don't have anything that can top that. Didn't actually have a honeymoon--one of the penalties of eloping.

Maria Zannini said...

Tia: There are a lot of advantages to eloping. :) But I'd miss the honeymoon.