Click on the image for more information.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Turning The Tables On You

The Follower Contest is still going on and I've decided to modify the prize. Not only will I do a full manuscript critique for one winner, but I will also do a three chapter (or 20K words) critique for a runner up.

If by some fluke I reach 200 followers by next Wednesday, I will add a third prize. 

And behold there was a third prize and Maria saw that it was good. 3rd prize will be a crit of your query IF I reach 200 followers by 1-26-11. (I was a copywriter in my early days. Queries are like honey to me.)

FAQs, the Author Page
The questions you guys lobbed at me on my last post should be mandatory on all bios. Especially the sex questions from Marguerite Butler and Meghan Schuessler

Meghan asked which celebrity I'd let my husband spend one night with and which celebrity I'd choose for myself.

Are you kidding? ROTFL! I'm a jealous creature by nature. And Greg wants to keep all his body parts so of course he will decline. As for me, can my celebrity put up fences for me? Cuz that's what I really need.

Marguerite was even bolder and asked which celebrity I would marry, boink and kill. All I can say is I do not want to get drunk with Marguerite. I'm liable to get arrested and end up in a Brazilian brothel. 

The answer to Marguerite's questions are:
1. Who would I marry?
Oh, hell no. Once is enough.

2. Who would I boink?
Ahem... a lady doesn't kiss and tell. But considering it's me, I guess it's safe. Let's see, I like strong, confident men, so I'll choose Russell Crowe. He looks like he could keep up with me.

3. Who would I kill?
Can't I just pick someone else to boink? Killing is so messy. I never know what to do with the bodies. And I feel bad I left out Gerard Butler for question #2. He looks healthy too.

All right gutter-minds, now I'm turning the tables on you. You can answer one or all the questions. Who wouldn't you toss out of your bed if s/he happened to show up one night?

PS: Greg, I was only kidding about Russell Crowe and Gerard Butler--unless they're handy with a shovel. We do need to build a road to the back forty. :o)


Sarah Ahiers (Falen) said...

oh man, there's so many attractive men. My tastes run the gamut and it all depends on what i've been watching lately.
BUT i think Ewan McGregor is always down for a good time.

Sarah Ahiers (Falen) said...

DAMMIT! I IMMEDIATELY regret not saying Jensen Ackles

Sarah Ahiers (Falen) said...

also (and yes, this is my third comment in a row) i wrote a blog post about your contest. It will post tomorrow morning at 7 AM

Maria Zannini said...

Sarah: First, thank you for the plug. Secondly, excellent choices, madam. :)

Joanna St. James said...

i have found a way out of this sticky situation.
My alter ego might have been a groupie in her former life but now the list is endless.
my alter ego wants
Enrique iglesias
Johnny Depp
Lebron James
Anderson Cooper - I can settle for best buds
Ashton Kutcher
La Reynoldss
Edward not RPatz
Peter Facinelli
Alexander Skarsgard
John Legend
Kristofer Pollaha

this list can go on, but it belongs to my alter ego who still wants to take a nap. I just borrow her list to use as inspiration for my MCs

Marguerite Butler said...

Have I mentioned I work in criminal law? *cough* not that I know anything about hiding bodies. Cause that would be wrong. *cough* Backhoe.

But I hear you on celebrities. They're fun to lust after, but unless they can drive a tractor or build me a barn, it will have to remain lust from afar.

Kim said...

Hugh Jackman tops my list. Followed by Hugh Jackman, Hugh Jackman, and Hugh Jackman.

Oh, and I have to confess to a crush on Keith Olbermann as well. Smart. Funny. That voice...


Kim said...

**sigh* I need more coffee.I just answered question #2. I'm not killing or marrying anyone. Yet. ;)

Maria Zannini said...

Joanna: That sounds like an orgy. But I like your ratio of men to women. ;-)

Marguerite: It scares me how much we think alike. Are you sure we haven't spent some jail time together too?

Kim: Oh, rats. I forgot about Hugh Jackman. He looks like he can wield a shovel.

Krista D. Ball said...

Angie and Brad. Either or. Both. Whatever. I'd go gay for her.

*drags on a smoke*

Barbara Ann Wright said...

I'm with Kim. Hugh Jackman. Also Colin Firth.

Krista D. Ball said...

Only if Colin wears the green one...

Linda Leszczuk said...

Well, I'm too old to consider some of the young studs you ladies have mentioned but Patrick Stewart could put his shoe under my bed (as my grandmother used to say) anytime.

Charlie said...

You are so funny!

I am always more interested in the characters than the people who play them, but Ryan Reynolds comes to mind. Pretty and funny.

Dru said...

I love older men, so George Clooney can stay in my bed.

Marguerite Butler said...

Jail time, Maria? What happens in Texas, stays in Texas.

And I'll confess to mad crushes on Richard Armitage and Daniel Craig.

Meghan Schuessler said...

LOL I'm glad you enjoyed my question, even though you declined to choose an actual celebrity answer ;-)

Meghan Schuessler said...

Oh, and to answer my own question: I choose Josh Holloway ("Sawyer" from Lost) & my boyfriend picks Brittney Spears (I rolled my eyes at that one lol)

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

Oh yes to all those who said Hugh Jackman.
Another one of my favorites is Eddie Cahill.

Sherri said...

Maria if that's really how you'd want to spend the night with a celebrity :wink: I do believe Russell Crowe has a farm down under...I'm sure he knows how to put up a fence for you :grin:

Oh my, oh my. Marguerite's questions could get me in some MAJOR trouble.

:looks over shoulder:

1) Um, already married so unless DH is up for a menage, and we can find a place where it's legal...

2) Well, I'm not the kiss and tell type but in no order --

Gerard Butler
Clive Owen
Adrian Paul
Hugh Jackman

Hmm...all have accents. Me thinks I see a pattern.

3) Aw, I really don't want to have to kill someone. Like you say Maria, it's so messy. Though the bodies aren't a problem, just drive it out to the desert, LOL

Maria Zannini said...

Krista: I couldn't do Jolie. She strikes me as being a dom and knowing me, things would just erupt into fisticuffs and we'd both end up with black eyes and fat lips. --well, she already has the fat lip. ;-)

Barbara: You know when the art department asked for my ideas of men to model for Grey in Touch Of Fire, I told them think of Hugh Jackman with big muscles. :)

Linda: Ah, the cerebral choice. But not much good for ditch digging. I'll put you down for one Patrick Stewart (and shoes).

Maria Zannini said...

Charlie: I agree. For bed bouncing or conversation, a man has to have a sense of humor.

Dru: Clooney! A classic never goes out of style. I forgot about him.

Marguerite: If they put us in jail, I'm sure there would be a VERY good reason for it. We are dangerous women after all.

Maria Zannini said...

Meghan: At this stage of my life, I need strong backs over a romp in the hay.

Ref: Brittany? Really? Was he drunk when he said this? LOL!


Susan: Jackman is bound for perennial greatness. I don't know how I managed to leave him out of my initial list. (He has a strong back too.)


Sherri: Thank you! Crowe it is. I like a man with experience.

Ref: you choices
I like accents myself. They go well with six-packs. :grin:

Marianne Arkins said...

1. Who would I marry?
Oh, hell no. Once is enough.

I absolutely agree. I always tell my DH that he doesn't ever have to worry -- if he dies, I'm never marrying again. :-)

Hmmm... not a Gerard Butler or Russell Crowe fan, and most of the other good-looking guys are wicked young. Oh, what the heck. I'll be a cougar and take Ryan Reynolds.


Cate Masters said...

*chuckle* One 'I do' per lifetime is plenty for me too.
I used to have a huge crush on Billy Crudup. My sisters and I planned his kidnapping outside the Broadway stage door, but then settled for his autograph and a picture.
These days, give me an intelligent guy who can make me laugh. Jon Stewart would do nicely.
That's in the parallel universe where, instead of 'I do,' I said, 'Give me a decade to think about it.'

Maria Zannini said...

Marianne: LOL! I love my husband, but really, I will never marry again.

Catie: Ref: intelligent guy who can make me laugh.
Absolutely! After the hot sex and multiple orgasms, I want a guy who can make me laugh and then make me dinner. Is that asking too much? ;-)

Victoria Dixon said...

I can't imagine boinking (or marrying) anyone but the hubby. Seriously. Jailing - and forcibly putting through a 12-step program - Tom Cruise. He needs intervention.

Do you know, I got the idea for the follower contest from you and then forgot where I got the idea. Geesh. Am I sure I have enough grey matter to write the next book? Mommy brain sucks. Let me know if Russell or Hugh are up to fixing your fence. We don't have fields, but the house could certainly use a new garage door and I think Hugh would be capable. ;D

Jennifer Shirk said...

Well, assuming hubby was out of the picture (because he's my one and only)...I have to say I have a little thing for Patrick Dempsey. :)

Angelina Rain said...

Celebrity I would sleep with. . . Man, that’s a very long list, lol. Actually, I would probably get so star-struck that I’d run away and faint.

Maria Zannini said...

Victoria: There are a LOT of celebs that could use intervention. LOL.

Jennifer: Why do I get the feeling your hubby has Patrick Dempsey eyes? :wink:

Angelina: LOL. Just remember, they put on their pants (and take them off) just like normal mortals.

Kimber Leszczuk. said...

I wouldn't toss out Edward Norton, Jude Law, or Gerard Butler. :)

Madeleine said...

I adore Jamie Bamber and Richard Hammond and Johnny Depp
oh and James Denton
and also Rupert Friend and Orlando Bloom (with dark hair and moustaches);O)

Maria Zannini said...

Kimber: It'd be hard to toss out any robust male specimen. :grin:

Madeleine: So many men, so little time. :) But an excellent list.

Meghan Schuessler said...

Re: boyfriend's comment on Brittney - no, he was totally sober! I agree she def is physically attractive, but come on. There many saner and sexier women out there! =P

Maria Zannini said...

Meghan: Yeah, someone who's NOT insane would be on my list.