Well, not really a million. But when I get a sinus headache it feels like it. Usually, I’m all sunshine and flowers, but today you’re going to see the dark side of Maria.
Let me offer you a random sampling of what’s been bugging me--performed in my best Chicago accent.
• If I hear one more person tell me he’s got a secret, but in the next breath says he can’t tell me what it is, I’m going to slug him. I mean, really. Is that nice? Shaddap or spill, already.
• I can’t be funny when I have a headache. This inevitably coincides with three promised guest posts where I absolutely, positively HAVE to be funny. If in the next few weeks you notice a lack of funny--remember this post and leave a 'pity' comment.
• Does every author have to have such a kick-ass cover just when my book is coming out? I’m dyin’ here.
• And what is with all the negative waves, Moriarty? Nobody wants to hear you whining about the unfair popularity of the romance genre, self publishing, e-books, sparkly vampires, and the fact that a push-up bra only works if you have something to push up. (Okay, maybe the sparkly vampires are getting old.)
• My husband has a clone. I’m sure of it. Lately, I’ve been reminding him of the promises he’s made on a honey-do list. Either he has amnesia or I’ve been talking to someone who looks just like him.
• I think I’m becoming a zombie. Parts of me keep falling off. Other parts freeze into unnatural positions. I’ve been going to physical therapy for two weeks now.
On each visit,
this sadist my therapist tortures me by trying to break the adhesions between my muscles. On the first visit, he pushed so hard I nearly passed out. I am so not making that up. Ow!
On each visit,
Okay, I feel better for sharing. It’s your turn. What sucks the wind out of your sails?