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Monday, November 14, 2011

Chicken Adventures: A Narrow Escape

I've heard of narrow escapes before but this one takes the cake. 

There's a good-sized gap between the gate and fence on the dog run. It's big enough for even a fat chicken to get in. Now any animal with intelligence is not going to waltz into a run guarded by two oversized rottweilers, but chickens aren't particularly renown for their intelligence. Besides the run was lush with bright green grass. What bird in his right mind could pass that up?

Enter one ditzy buff orpington who only had eyes for grass and not the 101lb bored rottie who pounced on her like a freight train. Iko loves squeaky toys and this chicken didn't disappoint. Round and round they raced. 

Tank watched idly, no doubt wondering why Iko would bother with a chicken still on the hoof. He prefers his game cooked and lightly seasoned. 

The chicken was already in Iko's mouth when I popped open the doggie door. "Drop it," I yelled.  

Not a dog to pass up opportunity, Iko took a few moments to consider the alternatives. But I think that look of murder in my eyes made him reevaluate any further evil. He dropped the chicken regretfully.

That chicken knew salvation when she saw it. She leapt to her feet, took a lap around Iko and then under his belly, past an unimpressed Tank, and straight through the doggie door, JUMPING into my arms.

I. kid. you. not.

I barely believed it myself. It was like something out of a Looney Tunes cartoon. Her little chicken heart was beating out of her chest like a boomerang and she murmured a low steady cluck that roughly translated to: "Holy crap! That was close." I'm pretty sure she suffered an out-of-body experience.

I cradled her in my arms and ferried her back to a (non-dog) pen where she could think about her indiscretions and about where she went wrong.

Safe again.
Iko got a stern warning for chasing. And Tank, the only well-behaved resident of Crazy Town got a cookie.

Good Tank. Lucky chicken.


We've had nonstop company this week, a visit with one of my favorite readers on the weekend, and even a lengthy stopover from my favorite husband. I'm expecting friends, family and assorted company for the next two weeks to boot. A little atypical for me. I'm not normally this popular.


Tomorrow: Please stop by and visit with my guest, Darke Conteur when she describes what made dark fantasy so appealing to her. It's food for thought about how we all choose our favorite reads.

Be a pal and show a new author some lovin'. See ya tomorrow!


Jennifer Shirk said...

Oh my gosh, I can't believe that. That chicken was GRATEFUL! :)
Poor thing.

raelynbarclay said...

LOL, Maria, I can completely picture the entire thing. Hopefully that chicken has learned the errors of her ways :) Can't really blame Iko though, I mean a "happy meal on legs" walks right up to him, how's a dog to refuse such a treat?!

Enjoy your visits!

julie fedderson said...

That had me in stitches! It was like an old Looney Tunes cartoon. Thanks for lightening up my Monday!

Lydia Kang said...

That is a lucky chicken! I loved that story. :)

Barbara Ann Wright said...

Lucky, lucky chicken. I had a similar experience with my cat. After he'd escaped the dog and leaped into my arms, he purred.

Jacqueline Howett said...

That was a fun nature story. Lucky escape. What a great video it would have made for that show on T.V. Funniest videos!

Enjoy your week!

Kaye Manro said...

I Agree with JH. Someone should have filmed that scene. It sounds so funny. I could just see that chicken jumping into you arms, lol.

Maria Zannini said...

Jennifer: If she could've hugged me, she would've.

Raelyn: Happy Meal on Legs! Brilliant! Though at the time, she wasn't too happy.

Julie: Iko and Chicken were glad to provide entertainment value to your day. :)

Lydia: Lucky, yes. Smart...

Barbara: At least your kitty isn't likely to make the same mistake.

Jacqueline: I WISH I could've filmed it. It was priceless.

Kaye: Sadly, dog and chicken wait for no camera. I just hope neither decides to repeat the performance.

Shelley Munro said...

Oh, Maria. Thanks for starting my day off with a side-splitting laugh. I can picture this scene all too well. Did she lose many feathers? And is she laying? She won't want to for a while

Mark Noce said...

Lol, great story:) Groovy blog too!

L.G.Smith said...

Ha! That was great. Now I'm thinking of getting chickens just for the entertainment value. :)

Kerri Cuev said...

Lucky chicken indeed lol. They are not the smartest birds. Oh well at least their cute!

Madeleine said...

Oh wow that is a brilliant tale. It made me LOL!
Glad the hen survived and your doggums knew what drop it meant. I had a cat that knew that too. He was v. intelligent.

LD Masterson said...

Where is the video camera when we need it?

Maria Zannini said...

Shelley: Would you believe, she didn't lose a feather. She's one of the younger hens and hasn't started laying yet. I imagine it'll be spring before she does now that our days are shorter.

Mark: Welcome! We serve crazy here at least twice a week. :)

LG: I promise, get chickens and you can get rid of television.

Kerri: At least she knew enough to head in the right direction.

Madeleine: "Drop It" is the first command we teach all the dogs. Even hard-headed Iko will comply, albeit grudgingly.

Linda: I so wish I could've filmed it. You can't make this stuff up.

Angela Brown said...

Poor little chicken! May have been ditzy enough to go where she shouldn't have but she knew exactly who saved her life. Got to give it her for coming directly to you to cluck her thanks :-)

Myne Whitman said...

That got m laughing so much! She really flew into your arms? Awww...

Tracy Jo said...

Maria...that is hilarious! I can't stop laughing. I love dogs and can just picture the look on Iko's face AND the chicken. Thanks for a great laugh this afternoon! :-) Enjoy all your company!

Charlie said...

Great story! Though I'm sure the chicken wouldn't agree. ;) And what great dogs Tank and Iko are.

Enjoy all your visitors!

Cate Masters said...

You almost had a zombie chicken for real! Poor thing. You should really compile these stories into a collection, along the lines of All Creatures Great and Small. They're such terrific characters.

Jenny Schwartz said...

Chickens...but what a great story! Thanks for the laugh, Maria :)

Maria Zannini said...

Angela: I have little teeth, so that automatically makes me safer.

Myne: I wouldn't have believed it possible. But the buff orpingtons have always been very social with me.

Tracy Jo: Iko really gave it some serious thought before he dropped the chicken. That goodness he submitted!

Charlie: The boys are generally well-behaved, though Iko still has his moments.

Cate: Re: dog and chicken stories What a great idea. But when will I ever get a chance to do that? Maybe I'll just post them as they happen on the blog, then publish them as a book in a couple of years.

Jenny: I lead a very interesting life. A little too interesting sometimes.

Rula Sinara said...

OMG I can't stop laughing at the situation and the image you've put in my head. It's like watching a cartoon with wacky characters lol. But that poor thing! Glad he got out alive!

Maria Zannini said...

Rula: You'd think by now I'd get a deal for a sitcom. :)

Darke Conteur said...

LMAO! I retold the story to Sithboy, and we were both laughing so hard we were crying!

I bet that chicken will think twice before she takes a stroll to the other side.

Maria Zannini said...

Darke: I wonder if I can install surveillance cameras in the dog run for the next time this happens--because I'm sure there'll be a next time.

Angelina Rain said...

lol, too funny! What a lucky chicken! I'm sure Iko wasn't too happy about having to let his meal go.

Charlie Globe-jotter said...

See, this is the world I love to live in. Where anything is possible, where drama is followed by a happy-ending - and where animals can talk.

Thanks for sharing :-)

Maria Zannini said...

Angelina: It's all sport to that dog. I swear, the Chicago Bears could use Iko as a tackle.

Charlie: Welcome! Yes, my animals talk--sometimes more than I'd like. LOL.

Nadja Notariani said...

I'm rolling with laughter at the chicken story! They are so funny. Our old dog, (she passed early this summer) was so terrific, as long as we were outside, we could free-range the chickens in the yard. She would not touch them.
No kidding.
Our pup, (he'll be a year in January) - a German Shepherd - is not so good...heh heh.
He has already had a chicken or two in his mouth! Luckily, we were able to stop him before he shook ... That would not have been pretty.
So much for the 'herding' instinct, eh? He wants to chase and bite. He gets this gleam in his eye when they flap around inside their chicken yard....I know what he's