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Monday, January 13, 2014

Polar Opposites

Greg is home and as usual we've been rushing from one chore to the next. The weather's been beautiful--and warm (sorry northern North America). We've been taking advantage of the good weather, trying to get as many outdoor jobs done while we can. 

Whenever Greg is home I have to wonder what it'll be like when he's home for good. For fourteen years (out of 39), we've had a part time marriage.  Sparks fly when we're reunited--and not necessarily the lovey-dovey sparks, but the fire and damnation kind of sparks.

To be fair, it was like this when we lived together too. We're both just naturally hot-tempered--him with his loud and very Italian personality, and me with my quiet "I'll kill you with my laser-vision" wrath.

When we agree on things, there is no stopping us. We can move mountains. But Lord help us when we disagree. 

I've threatened several times to start a new blog series called: "What my crazy husband did THIS time". Personally, I think it would be a hit. Every time we start a project together, it never turns out the way we had planned.

For one thing, we work differently. I'm very straight-forward. We do this, and this, and this, and don't stop until we're done.

Greg is more of a, hey, I didn't know I had this tool. Cool! And, oh look, there's that frankenheimer I've been looking for, but darn, it's broke. Let me go fix this NOW because it's obviously more important than the task Maria has been planning for more than three weeks.

You get the idea.

I think my penance on earth is to keep Greg on track. I send him emails weeks in advance, telling him what's on the agenda when he gets home. I used to wing it, but I've learned the hard way that my darling husband remembers things far differently than how I thought we discussed them. 

Much as his working style drives me insane, I can't fault his results. No one I know is as brilliant as he is when it comes to figuring things out--especially of the math and mechanical variety. I don't have those kind of smarts.

But lest ye think I bring nothing to the party, I pride myself on being an excellent mule...with a clipboard.

Do you work differently than your significant other? Do sparks fly for you too?


30 comments:

LD Masterson said...

Lord, yes. I'm a bit of a perfectionist mixed with a world class procrastinator, so I tend to put things off until I think we have the time to do it right. He's a jump in and get started type but will settle for "okay, close enough" for a result. Sparks? We got 'em.

Maria Zannini said...

Linda: I know they say opposites attract--but I don't know how that's possible. LOL.

Angela Brown said...

OMG, Maria, if you start that blog, you have to let me know because I have a feeling, like you, it would be a mega-hit :-)

Mike Keyton said...

Hmm, I procrastinate - especially if it involves spending money. My wife wants it fixed yesterday. We probably compromise somewhere between 'never' and 'sometime' though sometimes I'm spurred to action 'within the week'. I like to think it's the grit in the shell that makes the pearl. Then again it may be the grit that makes the engine stop :)

Giacomo Giammatteo said...

I laughed at this one, Maria. Mikki and I cannot, and I mean that literally, work together on projects. If there is concrete involved one of us stands the chance of being buried in it. Unless it's something major, we go our separate ways when it comes to projects.

Stacy McKitrick said...

I don't think I work differently than my husband -- we're both procrastinators so it's amazing anything gets done. But when we work together on a project, it's usually spark-free.

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

LOL. My husband and I are so opposite. I grew up on a farm where my dad could do anything, mechanical, building, plumbing. So I'm the fix it person around here and when I start a job I don't stop until I finish. It frustrates me but we've mostly accepted what the other one is good at. Good luck keeping the sparks contained.

Cate Masters said...

Ha, yes, same here. Hubby's the yin to my yang, and if I happen to be yin, then he's yang! Arrggh!
You can always text him instructions. Who cares if he's in the same room? lol

Barbara Ann Wright said...

We work about the same, but we fight very differently. R wants a passionate screaming fight, and I'm a more, let's look at this logically and hash it out. Takes the wind right out of his sails, but I just don't yell.

Maria Zannini said...

Angela: I still have to take into account whether my marriage could handle it. ;-)

Anne Gallagher said...

OMG. Yes, by all means, please start that series "What my husband did this time."

I don't have an S.O. but my Dad is pretty handy with his frankenheimer and always loses his way to the goal line. However, our lawn vehicles are the pride of the street outfitted with all kinds of contraptions. Even a utility plug for his weed wacker. (Oh yes.)

Maria Zannini said...

I'm always hesitant to open my wallet unless it's to fix whatever's broken. It's buying new things where Greg and I are at odds.

Maria Zannini said...

Jim: What is it with concrete and Italians? Greg has measured me for cement galoshes a time or two. :o)

Maria Zannini said...

Stacy: At last, a couple who can play nice.

Maria Zannini said...

Susan: I used to be very happy that each of us had our areas of expertise, but these past 14 years have honed us into a Jack and Jill of all trades since we've had to live apart so long.

I'll be glad when we can go back just so I don't have to figure out the plumbing on my own.

Maria Zannini said...

Cate: Oy! I know exactly what you mean! He likes to email me from the next room.

Maria Zannini said...

Barbara: I don't like to yell. If I reach the yelling stage, that means things have escalated to the cataclysmic stage.

Maria Zannini said...

Anne: Sigh. Greg is barely here and already the neighbors know him as the guy who has every tool known to man.

I often tell him that if he dies first, I'm going to have the mother of all garage sales. Men will be lining down the road to see what kind of tools Greg left behind.

raelynbarclay said...

I'm a bit like Linda, I want things done just so but I'll procrastinate until I have the time to do it the way I want. Being surrounded by males is slowly breaking me of that though, LOL. I have to use the FlyLady plan or lose my sanity.

That Man will start things, bless his heart, but will leave things unfinished. Ask him to sweep the floor and he'll do it, leaving the pile swept into a corner. Going the extra step to get the dust pan... Sigh.

I definitely think you've got something with that blog series :)

Shelley Munro said...

" I pride myself on being an excellent mule...with a clipboard."

This made me laugh. Hubby and I usually see things pretty much the same way. We do start shouting when hubby is tired, which is often lately since they're short-handed at work. Bring on the next holiday ;)

Maria Zannini said...

Raelyn: I've only got one male to contend with--you have five. You should be nominated for sainthood.

Maria Zannini said...

Shelley: Holidays are too few and far between. :sigh:

Ellie Garratt said...

I understand completely. While I can procrastinate, my ex just buried his head in the sand on a permanent basis. I think opposites can work, even if sparks do fly. What doesn't work is when of you is so stubborn nothing ever gets completed!

Suzanne Brandyn said...

My husband is pretty good. I don't ask him to do anything, and he says is there anything you want me to do. If it needs to be done urgently I say oh such and such, but there's no hurry. He does it. I have no complaints in that department.
When something needs doing, we do it thank heavens. lol. :)

Maria Zannini said...

Ellie: Oy. He'd be an ex to me too. :)

There's nothing worse than a man who won't commit.

Maria Zannini said...

Suzanne: What a good husband! He's a keeper.

Darke Conteur said...

I think all relationships between couples are like this. It would probably be easier if we all were the same, but I bet it wouldn't be as interesting, or as exciting.

Maria Zannini said...

Darke: Ha! I wouldn't mind a few less sparks. I'm not as spry as I used to be. :P

Karen Jones Gowen said...

I completely agree with the old saying that opposites attract. And having to learn to live together in peace is what comes of it.

Maria Zannini said...

Karen: Sometimes I think Greg and I brought detente to a whole new level.