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Monday, June 15, 2015

Carpe That Diem

I was talking with a good friend about life choices. What makes someone choose a writing life...or walk away from it?

Why do we turn left instead of right?

She had said that even when I walk away from something it's with the intent of walking toward something else.

That's very much true, especially now.

I'm not willing to do things I dislike anymore. Now that I'm retired from Corporate America, I'm entitled to do the things I love, the things I want to do, and to work with people who appreciate me.

Becoming seriously ill recently kind of cemented that for me too. 

The other day we watched "Mary Poppins". I always look up the history of the players from old films. I like to see what had become of them. I was shocked to learn the little boy from the film, Matthew Garber died of pancreatitis at twenty-one. Twenty-One. That's so incredibly sad.

Some of us never get a chance to realize our dreams. Others never get started.

Not that there aren't good reasons and obstacles before you start your journey. For myself, some detours and roadblocks were made by my own 'border collie' mentality. "Never start something new until you've finished the old" is my motto.

Sometimes it's responsibility to family, or earning a living, or getting enough education before you can begin to follow your dreams. The important thing is to eek out a little happiness for yourself along the way.

As John Carter of Mars said...
Take up a cause, fall in love, write a book.

If you died one hour from now, what would you regret most?

PS  I've regained some use of my hand but I still can't make a fist. Little steps, right?


Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today. ~James Dean  


Madeline Mora-Summonte said...

Isn't it funny how many of the obstacles on our road to happiness and joy are often of our own making? That's how it is for me anyway.

Glad to hear your hand is coming along!

Maria Zannini said...

Madeline: It wouldn't surprise me if 95% of us are own worst enemies.

We often blame others or circumstances, but if we drill down, it's usually just us holding us back.

Mike Keyton said...

If you died one hour from now, what would you regret most? I never really got to know my dad, or was as kind to my mum as she deserved.

I've regained some use of my hand but I still can't make a fist. Little steps, right? But the prognosis is good, right? I'll be having words with the Big Man otherwise!

Maria Zannini said...

Mike: There are some things we can't change especially when people are gone from our lives. All we can do is use it as experience in how we treat others.

Re: hand
There's definite nerve damage. I hold my pen/brush a little more oddly than most, using my middle finger. Needless to say, I might have to retrain myself to hold a pen like everyone else now. :)

Greg, who had an injury like this with a table saw, said I'll get used to it. What choice do I have?

Stacy McKitrick said...

If I died one hour from now what would I regret most? Funny you should ask that, since I'm faced with major surgery down the road and my mortality is staring me in the face. But really, I don't think I have any regrets. I have a great relationship with my hubby and kids and I'm working in a job I absolutely LOVE.

Glad to hear you're hand is on the mend. But be careful in retraining yourself to hold a pen. I remember holding the pen differently when I was learning shorthand (don't know why I did it, but it seemed to be easier to write that way) and ended up giving myself carpel tunnel! That's when I realized I wasn't cut out to be a secretary. Haha!

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

That was scary about your hand. Mostly I want to see my children successful and happy before I die. So I need to hold on for a few more years. Writing as my job is what I want to do so I'm content with that part.

Jackie Burris said...

I would most regret never having gone to visit some of the places in Australia that I have read about for many years and would dearly love to experience the beauty of in person.

Maria you are right one step at a time and glad that at least you can use your hand, no matter how awkward it is to do so. The nerve damage in my dominant right hand has slowly taken a toll on using a pen period, my writing was always ugly now it is almost completely unreadable even by me.

Angela Brown said...

I know for certain I tend to be my biggest obstacle. SMH

As for regrets, I can say I don't have any, mostly because I reconciled a lot of things in my life as part of adjusting to my life as a divorced single mom.

I'm glad things are improving with your hand :-)

betty said...

That is good news about your hand; little steps indeed and at least it is not getting worse, but seems to be getting a bit better. That is sad about the actor from Mary Poppins; I didn't realize he had passed at such a young age.

I think I would like to see my son a bit more settled before I passed, he's heading in the right direction, just hope he continues going that way :)


Maria Zannini said...

Stacy: Know that I'll be thinking of you as you face surgery.

Re: carpal tunnel
Good point. The reason I don't hold my pen like normal people is because I was forced to be right handed and that was the only way my 6-year old self could do it.

The nuns used to chastise me endlessly, but stopped when they noticed even with my crabbed hold of the pen I still had beautiful penmanship. The mind always finds a way to compensate.

Maria Zannini said...

Susan: There's nothing better than living in contentment. I didn't mind the rush and drama when I was young, but now I want to see the fruits of my labor.

Maria Zannini said...

Jackie: There's still time to go to Australia!!

Don't give it up yet.

Maria Zannini said...

Angela: Ugh! I am my own worst enemy. I don't know how I get so much done considering I'm a picky, over analyzing perfectionist.

Maria Zannini said...

Betty: I think it's natural for us to want the best for our children.

What we leave behind is our testament.

Sandra Almazan said...

If I died an hour from now, I would regret not finishing my two series and not being able to watch Alex grow up. I guess it's time to pull out my netbook and get back to work on Chaos Season.

Maria Zannini said...

Sandra: LOL! I guess that's one way to figure out what's important.

Barbara Ann Wright said...

I'd regret that I didn't finish my current edits, but then, I can't finish them in one hour. :) Hope you're in tip top shape again soon.

Jenny Schwartz said...

Jackie, come to Australia! Bring Maria with you :)

Glad your hand's getting better, Maria. It's these out-of-nowhere accidents and injuries that put things in perspective.

Maria Zannini said...

Barbara: Makes you wonder about other authors who passed on unexpectedly. What did they have locked away on computers that their families knew nothing about?

Maria Zannini said...

Jenny: LOL!

You're the first person I'd visit if I went to Australia!

Re: accidents
I know. Who would've thunk it could get this bad? It's shocked even me.

Diane Carlisle said...

Yes, baby steps!

If I died one hour from now, I will regret not having looked over my latest Powerpoint presentation to make sure there were no errors. lol

Maria Zannini said...

Diane: :D Oh, I just know I'll be fretting on my deathbed over some little thing. This is why I can't sleep at night. I'm always going over the things I need to do the next day.

Karen Jones Gowen said...

I'm glad you are feeling better, Maria, and I hope you continue to heal, especially with the full use of your hand. This post makes we want to shout hurrah. I totally agree with every word.

Maria Zannini said...

Karen: It's been such a long road to recovery. I had no idea I was in such a bad way. Sometimes inherent optimism gets in the way of the truth.

Lynn Viehl said...

Little steps are good. If your doc has advised physical therapy be sure to dedicate yourself to it. It took a long time, but my left hand went from basically useless to 50% useful capacity with PT (and I still can't make a fist, but I can hold things, type with two fingers and dress myself without assistance.)

If I dropped dead in an hour I'd most regret not being able to be with my guy and kids any longer. Nothing else matters to me as much as them.

Maria Zannini said...

Re: Nothing else matters to me as much as them.

You definitely have your priorities in the right place. At the end I won't worry about vain legacies, but the people I leave behind.

Re: hand
I'm shocked how long it took to recover. It was a good reminder that I'm not invincible.