Ghosts of my Past
Halloween might be the staple fall holiday in the US and Canada, but in MesoAmerica, it's the Day of the Dead. This is the day when the living can commune with the dead. My father used to scare the heck out of us when we'd visit my grandmother's grave. I just knew one of these days we'd bring back some hitchhiking ghost.
Ghosts startle me, (well, what doesn't) but if I can spend a few seconds getting used to their presence, that fear usually morphs into curiosity. Invariably though, if a ghost crosses my path, it's more likely he's passing through or looking for something. He's not interested in my questions.
But there was one time I was left at a disadvantage. We had traveled to Chicago to attend my father-in-law's funeral. As soon as we arrived we were shuttled to the wake. I kept complaining to Greg that I wasn't feeling well. Greg dismissed it as nerves. (Why do husbands always dismiss our ailments as nerves?)
Finally, I told him I had to go home (in this case, my parent's home). I felt terrible about it because I wanted to be a comfort to him in his time of need, but I plain just felt bad. He dropped me off with my kid sister, then rushed back to the wake.
My sister was very young at the time, maybe 12 or 13, and the poor kid kept calling Greg at the funeral parlor, insisting I was getting worse. (In retrospect, I might've died had she not been so unrelenting.) After the third call, Greg had had enough and came home to see for himself.
One look told him I needed to go to the hospital. All I remember was a terrible backache and me pleading with him not to take me to the hospital. He didn't tell me that I was white as a sheet and delirious. They barely got me into surgery when my appendix burst.
Poor Greg had lost an uncle a week earlier, his father less than two days ago, and now the doctors were telling him his wife's life was in danger. Greg was having a very bad week.
Fast forward a few weeks and they finally released me from the hospital, but ordered me not to fly home. I would have to stay with my parents a few weeks longer.
The first night home was a doozy. I was restless and couldn't sleep. I couldn't shake the feeling that something was in my room. It made me especially anxious because I could barely move due to the huge incision on my stomach. I finally managed to sit up when I saw Greg's father manifest, then sit at the edge of my bed.
I stared at him in disbelief. He looked good. Healthy. His mouth was moving, but I couldn't hear him speak. Somehow--and don't ask me how--I knew he was looking for Greg. As soon as I told him that Greg had returned to Texas, he disappeared, hopefully to find his son and say a proper goodbye.
I wish more than anything he could have stayed a little longer, but I had the feeling he was in a hurry.
It's pure speculation on my part, and something I alluded to in my latest book, but I have to wonder if there's some transitory state of souls, right before a metamorphosis.
What do you think happens when you die? Are there stages of afterlife like there is in life? I am fascinated by different views. I hope you'll share yours.
Comments
The most I get is dead people visiting me in my dreams. Before I got married, there were a few times when I planned to dump him. Each time, I would have a dream that I was alone in a dark room and a voice was telling me not to. One time, I actually saw the face of the voice and it was my father in law. Then, a few months ago when I finally decided to leave him, before I even told him I'm leaving, I went to the cemetary and told my father in law that if he wants us to work out, he better be telling his son that instead of me because I don't care anymore. Weeks after I did that, my husband ended up in the hospital. Then he had a moment of realization and he learned that he should value me and respect me. According to him, his father had something to do with the realization. Funny that he listened to me. I really though I was acting crazy going to the cemetary but it worked.
And so glad your sister was persistent!
After watching Ghost Adventures I do think there might be something to spirits being on earth.
My sister has had our grandmother, a friend, and some random person (I didn't know and can't remember now if she knew) visit her in dreams.
Our grandmother did the same thing your father-in-law did with the sitting on the end of the bed but as it was years after she passed she didn't seem to be in a hurry to my sister. Grandma's visit corresponded to us seeing Terms of Endearment, during which both my sister and I couldn't help but think of Grandma who also died of cancer. The same night I tossed and turned, felt cold then hot, but never saw or sensed anyone. I wish I had, I could have used Grandma's comforting smile.
Raelyn: I often wonder if spirits come back occasionally to check on us--or if they check on us because we're thinking of them.
Julie: A friend of my husband's said it best. "Sometimes the phone is ringing, but some of us never hear it."
Southpaw: I don't like to discount things without irrefutable proof.
I think when we die, we cross over into a world just like this, but with all our friends and family that have past, waiting for us. Pets too. We can travel there, when we're in a certain stage of unconsciousness. Astral projection. It's those dreams we have that feel so real. It's also the time when spirits can communicate with us too. I've had lunch with my grandmother, yelled at Husbands ex-wife (oh yeah, I went there) and played with the dogs.
I've often said that I believe there is a difference between a ghost and a spirit, one being Earth-bound, the other more of a visitor in our lives. October 31 is said to be one of two dates when the veil between this world and the next is at its thinnest, and the spirits of family come and join us. I have a ritual I do and I'm pretty sure I have a full house.
Darke: The ex-wife? Oh, nooo. I think that's one person I'd never want to meet. But if I do, Greg has some explaining to do cuz he said I was the only one. LOL.
My sisters have seen my mom and dad in their dreams. Wish I could. It would be nice to visit.
I try not to listen to that side, though, since it can be depressing.
;)
On the other hand, my sister-in-law just passed away. We went to see her in the hospital and, even though she was in a coma, I had no problem talking to her, no problem believing she might be able to hear me, even though she appeared to be unconscious.
One thing I do have no trouble believing, and Shakespeare said it best: There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy. Ghosts? Transitory state of souls, as you put it?
Why not?
Cate: I've always been curious about areas where a great many and traumatic deaths occurred. I've experienced it only once aboard an aircraft carrier.
Dru: The first time something like that happens, you never forget. :)
Linda: I think the touch of a loved one would be very comforting.
Sarah: LOL. This probably explains why I would be a terrible atheist. It's just too depressing.
Dee: My husband is the same way, but after living with me all these years I think I've finally turned him around. :)
Barbara: I'd like to think so too. It reminds me we are more alike than different.
Live Out Loud: Exactly. It was closure. --Oh, and I owe you an email. Give me to the end of the week.
However, I sometimes have gotten a sense of not being alone, or I could swear I heard my name called (but no one is home but me). Who knows - maybe someone was visiting. Maybe I'm just not sensitive enough to see them.
I sometimes wish I could see life in plain black and white and that when you die you're dead and that's all there is to it. Might make things simpler, or make things even more confusing as every exception-to-rule makes it a point to disprove the whole black-and-white view.
Angela: When I was younger, I used to think I could force things to be black and white. Now I know better. :)
Mike: Ref: ...our senses imprison us into believing that that is all there is.
How true. Sometimes when I want to describe something, I close my eyes and listen.