Special Report from the Trenches
I am typing this thirty miles from home base at a Starbucks
with a hotspot.
My special ops dog team and I were compromised on Sunday at 0830 when the power was cut. Some might say it was the relentless rain, but it had to be the
scorpions. The signs were there, I was just too preoccupied with admin stuff to
notice.
My mission: Retake ground zero.
Day One: A
scorpion rappelled from the ceiling. He landed on my foot as I was relaxing on
the couch. My lightning reflexes and commando training from Kitty Kat Academy flipped
the paratrooper into the air. He landed stinger side first where I
quickly crushed him into another dimension. (I'm really good at that.)
Later that day, another scorpion infiltrated my office.
Sergeant Iko was on patrol but he must’ve been sleeping on duty because the
infiltrator walked right past him. After dispatching the insurgent to hell, I
reprimanded Iko and busted him down to private. Nobody sleeps on duty in my
team.
We had a situation later that night when Seadog Mama, our
underwater specialist yelped in agony. I was afraid the enemy had capped her,
but I think she just got up wrong and twisted her ankle. Seadog Mama should’ve
retired a year ago, but she’s tough and wants to stay with the team.
Day Two: After
discussing the situation with Captain Tank, we agreed to take the fight to the
enemy. I’ve been laying sticky pad traps everywhere.
So far, I've had only one escape. That scorpion must've had the strength of ten because he not only dragged the pad
several feet, but escaped intact. We’ll meet again, Scorpi. I promise.
It’s now been 22 hours since we’ve been compromised. The power has tried to come back on twice but nothing permanent. My dog team and I
are on dry rations.
…okay, I did have a cranberry scone at Starbucks, but being a
team leader with a driver’s license has its perks.
I have to go back now. I'm setting this post to appear at zulu time 0700. My team and I will see this out to
the end. If we don’t make it, tell my husband I love him and that I’ll see him on
the other side. I’ll be the one with the scorpion kills carved into the soles of
my shoes.
Dog Team Alpha signing out.
Comments
Geez, scorpions. Only ones I ever saw where that German heavy metal band from the 80's.
I'm very glad Tweed doesn't have scorpions.
Here's to winning the war!
***
Renee: Well at least you're not running with scissors. That can be dangerous. I hope you weren't running with poop either. That's just nasty. LOL.
***
Stacy: If it's any comfort, they hibernate in the winter.
Actually, we are taking steps to seal the house from the little intruders. It's a slow process though.
***
Susan: This power outtage took us off guard. I have a feeling the power company must've been either repairing lines or putting a new one in since it went up and down several times. I think we're safe now. I was afraid I was going to have to drag the generator to the house so I could keep my freezers working.
Those sneaky scorpions. They do seem intent on infiltrating your property. Have you seen if there are any miniaturized Wanted poster signs with your face and name on them?
(And how bad are the scorpions in the winter?)
***
Linda: Not to worry. They hibernate in the winter.
Ref: field mice
I thought Sophie handled that for you. :)
Very cute post by the way.
-Jimmy
From: South Texas Headquarters
The war goes badly for us, you must fight on to the last pup.
Reinforcements will arrive on 10-8-12. You must hang on until then. The breach in the defense line will then be repaired.
Good luck to you and your team
General FastBusa
South Texas Headquarters command
***
Jenny: I gotta be funny now cuz if I get stung I'll be too busy cussing.
General, my team is committed. Well...they were committed up to a half hour ago. Captain Tank and Private Iko have retired for the night. They're hogging the entire bed. I don't know where the heck I'm going to sleep.
But so far, so good. No new sightings to report.
Oh, sleeping. How on earth do you manage to sleep? *suzanne grimaces*
What with crawling things everywhere. Yikes. :)
Scorpions..eeewww
I'm calling in your Special Ops teM when I have a Scorpion problem!
If they are getting in through the attic, they're falling through the tiny openings in the electrical compartment of the lights when the lights are off (and cool).
But usually they walk in from the outside under the door. We're replacing the weatherstripping to take care of that little problem.
Their "let's try to sting Maria parade" is all seasonal and weather related.
***
Jennifer: My poor dogs are at the center of all my adventures. LOL.
And scorpions??? Ack! I think I'd take a heart attack. LOL.
The worst my Zutchka has dealt with is carpenter bees and centipedes...ha.
Extract from 'Memoirs of a Scorpion Fighter by Spec Ops M. Zannini'.
I hate the scorpions in Mexico. They're a lot bigger than the ones I see. Eek!