Wherever You Go, There You Are
My mother turned 80 today. A benchmark year. She and two aunts are all I have living from the generation before me. She's in good health, spry, and still has a keen mind--all things I hope she's passed on to me!
It got me to thinking about all our benchmark years. Not just the decade tabs, but life events. The year your first child was born. The year of a divorce, marriage, or infidelity. The year you got the job that turned the corner for you financially. The year loved ones died. All these things define us--imprinting us with memories and deep emotions.
When I was a kid I used to make life goals; things I was determined to accomplish by a certain age. Oddly enough, marriage was never on the list. LOL! Yet it was the first thing I did as soon as I turned legal age.
Looking back, none of the things I planned ever came about--at least not the way I planned. I started university late, but graduated in three years. My dream job came and went before I realized how perfect it was for me. There were other, better-paying jobs, but none that gave me the personal satisfaction of that first job.
Writing was never on my list. Not ever. Yet here I am, with ten books under my belt.
If I did anything right in my life it's that I wasn't afraid to take the road less traveled. And I was lucky that I found a guy who felt the same way. We've never done things the easy way, and that's okay. It's only made the journey more interesting.
My mother scolded me once for working too hard. She said I needed to enjoy my life more. She said I needed to have more fun.
...I thought I was. ;o)
What are your benchmarks? Did they come about the way you planned? Or do you prefer to let life carry you where it wills?
My world is in flux until Greg is officially retired and moved, but I've been madly planning my goals for the next ten years. It's exciting and a lot of work--but a lot of fun.
See, Ma. I took your advice.
***
And here's a little sample of unexpected goals. I wrote Mistress of the Stone because I wanted to try my hand at a historical with a paranormal twist. I learned yesterday that Bitten By Paranormal Romance named it a Top Pick for August. Just goes to show you never know where those whims can take you.
It got me to thinking about all our benchmark years. Not just the decade tabs, but life events. The year your first child was born. The year of a divorce, marriage, or infidelity. The year you got the job that turned the corner for you financially. The year loved ones died. All these things define us--imprinting us with memories and deep emotions.
When I was a kid I used to make life goals; things I was determined to accomplish by a certain age. Oddly enough, marriage was never on the list. LOL! Yet it was the first thing I did as soon as I turned legal age.
Looking back, none of the things I planned ever came about--at least not the way I planned. I started university late, but graduated in three years. My dream job came and went before I realized how perfect it was for me. There were other, better-paying jobs, but none that gave me the personal satisfaction of that first job.
Writing was never on my list. Not ever. Yet here I am, with ten books under my belt.
If I did anything right in my life it's that I wasn't afraid to take the road less traveled. And I was lucky that I found a guy who felt the same way. We've never done things the easy way, and that's okay. It's only made the journey more interesting.
My mother scolded me once for working too hard. She said I needed to enjoy my life more. She said I needed to have more fun.
...I thought I was. ;o)
What are your benchmarks? Did they come about the way you planned? Or do you prefer to let life carry you where it wills?
My world is in flux until Greg is officially retired and moved, but I've been madly planning my goals for the next ten years. It's exciting and a lot of work--but a lot of fun.
See, Ma. I took your advice.
***
And here's a little sample of unexpected goals. I wrote Mistress of the Stone because I wanted to try my hand at a historical with a paranormal twist. I learned yesterday that Bitten By Paranormal Romance named it a Top Pick for August. Just goes to show you never know where those whims can take you.
Comments
I must say, I never ever thought I'd have a child, nor ever publish books for a living. And looking back I wouldn't change the way I've lived any part of my unconventional life for anything.
When I had my youngest daughter, things changed. Her first year of life was a huge benchmark because it's influenced a lot of my decisions since. We almost lost her more than once and it was during that time that I asked myself if I was happy. I started evaluating my job, my life choices, family, friends, etc.
Writing was the single thing that always felt right and good. It got me through sad times, kept me sane when I thought I would seriously lose my shit, and it entertained me when life got so boring I thought I might implode.
When my youngest was 3 years old, I made the decision to turn writing into my job. That choice started me on a really long path I'm glad I took. I've still got miles ahead of me, but it feels like I'm heading toward the place I need to be, finally. I've met amazing people and learned so much about myself that even if it doesn't pan out as a career, the journey has been worthwhile.
I am incapable of a short comment. I've accepted this reality. ;)
Life takes our goals and turns them into origami.
Re: I am incapable of a short comment...
That's why I love your comments so much. :)
Funny that writing was never part of the plan for you. I never envisioned it myself, but here we both are. Congratulations on your success. =o)
As it is, life involves twists and turns, things unexpected, things no amount of planning can prepare you for.
I'm where I am and blessed to be here. I only pray that each step forward is a step with this same smile on my my face. People don't see it often because I tend to drift into deep thoughts and look focused or intimidating.
Mistress of the Stone deserves every accolade and more. I loved it and am glad so many others do to :-)
Yes, but think of all the cussing you'd miss out. Wrong turns and idiots are what keeps our minds sharp.
'Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.'
I've never had any great plan or even a series of little ones, just an opportunist streak.
Re: People don't see it often because I tend to drift into deep thoughts and look focused or intimidating.People don't see it often because I tend to drift into deep thoughts and look focused or intimidating.
This made me laugh only because I always look confused. LOL. I'd rather have your game face.
But then I always remember you as smiling. :o)
And I know you'll hit your benchmarks. You have the determination.
Re: Mistress of the Stone
I couldn't have done it without my resident expert in all things British and historical. :) Thanks, Mike.
I will say, the kids were planned (I wanted them three years apart and they are), but other than that, I leave the planning to my husband (since mine never pan out anyway - haha!). I just live one day at a time and enjoy the ride!
I didn't know you had planned on making the Army a career.
Funny thing just like you no plan to graduate and then get married anytime in the future, no plans actually to get married ever but 1 year and 6 months later there we were standing before the minister exchanging vows and now 31 years and 8 months later we are still together and still not making concrete plans of any kind.
MOTS well deserved Top Pick, August or any other month!
Don't worry about those plans for the next 10 years as when Greg is home full time those plans are going to change anyway Maria. :-)
I've never done anything the easy way, either. I definitely never made plans as a kid. I knew that IF I finished high school that I was going to work. Any kind of work. That's all. So imagine the delight when I was in my late twenties that I learned it was okay to dream! Yep, I'm a late bloomer.
Writing was definitely NOT on my benchmark either. LOL
CONGRATS on Mistress of the Stone. I need to pick up that book!
I always wanted to travel from a young age. I thought I'd have children. The travel part happened, and it's a passion my hubby shares with me. The children didn't happen, but as it happens we're fine with that. I think if you can look back and say you wouldn't do much different, then you're doing okay.
Congrats on the best book, Maria. I have that one on my Kindle :)
LOL
I've never been a big goal setter. I'd rather take life as it comes. Projects, now that's a different matter and I do set goals to achieve the end result. However, I'm certainly not where I thought I might be at this stage of my life yet I can't say I have many regrets either. So, like Angela said, I am where I'm supposed to be and blessed for it.
I can honestly say that an important milestone has happened every five years since I was fifteen. No milestones yet this year, but the year is still young for me. :D
I know plenty of people who do fine without any plan whatsoever. And they're less stressed than I am. :)
Hmm? Can't say I envisioned things happening this way in my life either, Maria. I never thought I'd ever have a girlfriend during those teenage long-haired years. Yet we've just hit the 23 married/25 altogether. You picture what your kids may be like, but little do you know. Mine are talented as hell and well-liked - and healthy and well, which was all I really prayed for. Lastly, I never thought people would ever be reading my writing, and yet, here I am. It's crazy! *grins*
-Jimmy