50 Shades of...Oh, Just Kill Me Now
The movie version of 50 Shades is coming to theaters near you in 2015.
First of all, my apologies to EL James. I'm not being dismissive of your work or success. You found something to titillate the human consciousness. It's a little sick and twisted, but hey, you're laughing all the way to the bank. You dirty, dirty girl.
My real bafflement stems from people (particularly fictional characters) who think being dominated is sexy.
Dudettes, please!
Does being at the choker end of a chain really turn you on? And what kind of weirdo likes getting smacked around? In the old days, they'd put you in therapy for low self esteem issues.
I won't call myself an old fuddy duddy because...well never you mind what kind of sex I've known, but I've been around.
If you come at me with a whip, you're going to walk out without testicles. I don't care how much money you've got.
Being some rich guy's smackin' cushion isn't my idea of fun. My hams aren't made for bruisin'. You know what I'm saying?
I'm tired of heroes with control issues. You want control? There's your rudder. Control that and then I'll believe you're man enough for me.
All I know is if a guy wants to climb my twin peaks he better make it worth my while.
Rub my back. Clean my house. Give the dogs a bath. Weed my garden!
Now that's amore.
In the interest of full disclosure, I've not read these books, but several of my friends have and they filled me in on the details. They assured me they only read the books for research.
Yeah...I didn't believe them either.
Are you curious about the movie? Have you read the books?
First of all, my apologies to EL James. I'm not being dismissive of your work or success. You found something to titillate the human consciousness. It's a little sick and twisted, but hey, you're laughing all the way to the bank. You dirty, dirty girl.
My real bafflement stems from people (particularly fictional characters) who think being dominated is sexy.
Dudettes, please!
Does being at the choker end of a chain really turn you on? And what kind of weirdo likes getting smacked around? In the old days, they'd put you in therapy for low self esteem issues.
I won't call myself an old fuddy duddy because...well never you mind what kind of sex I've known, but I've been around.
If you come at me with a whip, you're going to walk out without testicles. I don't care how much money you've got.
Being some rich guy's smackin' cushion isn't my idea of fun. My hams aren't made for bruisin'. You know what I'm saying?
I'm tired of heroes with control issues. You want control? There's your rudder. Control that and then I'll believe you're man enough for me.
All I know is if a guy wants to climb my twin peaks he better make it worth my while.
Rub my back. Clean my house. Give the dogs a bath. Weed my garden!
Now that's amore.
***
In the interest of full disclosure, I've not read these books, but several of my friends have and they filled me in on the details. They assured me they only read the books for research.
Yeah...I didn't believe them either.
Are you curious about the movie? Have you read the books?
Comments
Unfortunately, I just found it boring (though Ana's breathless "Holy cow! Holy crap! My inner goddess is jumping up and down! Holy shit!" running commentary is perfect for parody).
I have no intention of even watching the trailer, let alone the movie.
I may never know. :)
I attempted to read the first book because a coworker of mine insisted it was absolutely great. Thankfully, I didn't buy the book, just borrowed it from someone and didn't make it past the first page. I guess I should have known better. I wasn't able to get into the Twilight craze. I forced myself to read the first book and that was a rather painful process keeping myself from throwing the book at the wall. But I did read it.
I went to a conference last year where I got a chance to meet a BDSM couple. They explained a lot of stuff to help me better understand the BDSM relationship beyond what I saw in Hollywood movies. It was enough to help me be comfortable in writing my own BDSM short story.
As for the movie trailer, I saw it. I wish I could say it was intriguing but what really caught my attention was the music composition to it. I'm sure it will be a hit in 2015.
Could I indulge in a BDSM experience myself? Honestly, I'm not sure. Perhaps it's just my ancestoral lingerings from slavery that prevent me from finding being whipped appealing.
If you come at me with a whip that signifies you are ready to lose certain appendages.
As a side note, I'm sure the parents of those actors in that movie must be soooo proud. ;-)
my taste is in weird stuff, characters with fangs
zombies that are sloughing skin
ghouls that go bump in the night
Now THATS literature
I always think back to the classic movies when just a look was enough to get your engines revving.
As for the premise of the story (from what little I've heard about) it's the prefect Hollywood movie under the premise that "sex sells." The kinkier, the better.
I do understand the kink. The thing is that it's a /game/. The whole point of it is that you, as a submissive, get to enjoy the sensation of totally giving over control to someone, and you trust them implicitly to keep you safe. As a dominant, it's your job to ensure that your submissive is both kept safe and also is getting what s/he wants out of the experience -- it's almost like you're the GM of a single-person RP session.
Very little of it has to do with whips and chains -- although for some people "punishment" is part of the game. It invokes some elements of the parent/child relationship but in obviously a very different setting. And for some people, pain elicits pleasure (boosting endorphins, yadda yadda).
But the vast majority of BDSM kink is really about fantasies of control and power, and playing with the fantasy of totally losing that power to a person who you believe has your best interests at heart. It's a very unique sensation, and it can actually feel extremely liberating.
Done well, I think a REAL book about BDSM would be incredibly hot and so much more interesting.
((as an aside: One of my pet theories from my lit major days is that Jane Eyre is ultimately a story about BDSM. Part of me kind of wants to rewrite it as such. Who knows, maybe one day.))
And the bigger question is why would women enjoy it? It baffles me. I think I'll stick to mysteries.
I'm obviously not the right demographic. Or maybe I'm just very content in my own skin without the drama.
What makes people need this kind of sensation?
A good man is a good man in and out of bed. No airs or avatars necessary.
The movie will come and go and no disrespect to the author, director, producers, actors etc but will find no one living in our house interested watchers.
Actually, S&M isn't normal, considered a deviant practice. Kind of like not wanting to be in a satanic cult, but loving to read about it. :)
But i'm with TL. My problem with 50 SOG is that people think it's an example of BDSM which it very much isn't
We've been thinking of adopting a cat, but I think a cat already adopted us. He's been coming by anyway.
There've been fetishes since the ancient Etruscans and earlier. Social media catapulted 50SoG into a viral phenomenon. But why? The writing, so I've been told, is abysmal. Yet, EL grabbed the public attention with both hands.
She certainly wasn't writing to true fetish aficionados. She actually created a new, broader fan base--something few people have ever done.
As some of your earlier commenters have pointed out, there is a difference between abuse and dominance and submission (D/s). As an outsider, sadism and masochism (the S&M in BDSM) do seem a bit like abuse to me, but knowing how often other alternative lifestyles are misunderstood, I'm very hesitant to call it that. One of your commenters said it is a game and for some that is true, but not for all. For some, dominance and submission (D/s) is a very important part of their lives. It can be an important but small part of a more normative lifestyle or it can be their lifestyle. D/s often has nothing to do with whips and chains, though they can be a tool that is used.
I guess the thing I want to address more than anything is your comment that it must be an acquired taste. Those who play at it may "aquire" a taste for BDSM in an attempt to spice up their sex lives. But I truly believe there is something much stronger and substantive to all of this. I think dominance and submission are a part of a person's make-up. I'm sure there is a spectrum in the population and for a big chunk in the middle that element is so minor as to not matter at all. But at the edges it is such an integral part of who a person is that going against that nature is painfully difficult. Not to say that the person can't function normally, but they will struggle and be unhappy. They must learn to compensate for their nature and learn to be less submissive or less dominant. I hate to compare it to other things because I'm sure I would manage to offend someone. I'll just say that making light is like making light of any other are where some people are different from the norm.
I know you have an inquisitive, thoughtful mind so I will wrap up my long winded comment by saying there is some science behind this. I touched on one small part of this in a post I did back in 2011: Sex and violence the science behind the trope. You can search my site for it. If you want to know more about the science behind the similarity between pleasure and pain, I'm sure it is out there on the net.
My point is that the series is wildly popular and I don't know why. I'm more interested in finding out why it appealed to the mass market and less about the real fringe group.
And the first cover was very good too. It hit all the right marks up to and including the trending color scheme of the time. By accident or plan, EL lucked out with both.
Bluntly put: Women want to feel special and important. 50SoG fills this need in a sexual fantasy setting.
A sizable percentage of women fantasize about:
- being desired by a man who could have his pick of women. This often translates to a man who is super attractive, powerful, wealthy, or famous. Check.
- being the center of a man's attention. BDSM, puts the woman at the center of a man's attention - even if the type of attention is not what the woman would want in real-life. Check.
Women are attracted to a man with vulnerabilities. It appeals to the nurturing side most women have in some measure and it helps rationalize why this man would choose this woman (she can accept his flaws). Check.
It may seem ugly, but there it is. If you believe in evolution you may be comforted by the idea that this is probably based on a biological remnant that we are evolving away from.
The entire romance industry is built on that concept.
50SoG delivered a fantasy in a safe environment. And it's fiction.
But I feel there is more involved than these rudimentary desires. I can guarantee you every ad executive in New York is trying to figure out (and recreate) the same effect for their campaigns.
Social media is hugely responsible. The message has to get out there. But the message itself still has to have legs.
It would be worth studying the mega trends pre-internet.
As the discussion above continues
about BDSM, it's obvious EL James didn't get anything right about the subject -- therefore people bought the book(s), not only because it is such a forbidden topic, but to see just how "wrong" she was.
I liken it to a book with bad reviews...I've seen it happen time and again, a book with bad reviews will be sitting at #25, while a good book will have to claw it way to the top.
Anyway, I won't read the Grey books. I won't read the Twilight books. More power to the authors for being smart enough to figure out the latest reading craze before anyone else. I'm sure they're laughing all the way to the bank.
I've no desire to read the books (I've read enough bad stuff about them) or see the movie. My theory about what makes them so popular is the "woman tames bad boy" theme. Also, Ana is such a colorless character that it's easy for women to put themselves in her shoes. Personally, I'd rather read about a romance of someone who was worthy of my attention from the start. These fixer-uppers all look unsafe to me.
I think the part that gets me every time is that despite how badly written it is, it still gained a following. No wonder every Tom, Dick and Harry thinks he can write a book.
Re: fixer uppers
LOL! If I have to fix a man, he's way too much trouble.
And you might have a point about Ana. If a character is invisible enough, it's easy to step in and perhaps add to the drama in your own head.
Despite the hoopla, this too shall pass. It always does.
Did you watch the YouTube video of Ellen trying to read the book? Hilarious!
I never got into FSoG mainly because it was a bit tough to read (it seemed to need a lot more editing IMHO). With that said, I definitely think it's curiosity about that kind of sex and role-play that has piqued a lot of women's interest in this book.
I think it was Nietsche who said: "You go to visit a woman, don't forget the whip.'To my knowledge he never went to Texas.
Although the leader of our local writers group is a professional bull whip artist. Seriously. (Think cowboys, not sex.)
Your sensible part wins. I have this theory that predators and fools know their own kind.
Men have always treated me well. The few whose intentions were less than honorable usually had enough sense not to test my good humor.
I'll bet your writers' group always starts on time. :)
I certainly won't be seeing the film, I don't want to lose any more time to it than I already have.
I know what you mean about reading just to see if it would improve. I've read several series where they kind of led me around without providing a satisfactory conclusion. It makes you feel cheated.
I can't stop laughing. You have such a way with words.
Thanks!