40 Years Without a Restraining Order
This Saturday, (10-10-15) marks our 40th wedding anniversary.
I know. I find it hard to believe too.
Firstly, because I don't feel that old. And secondly, because it went by REALLY fast.
We have company all this week so we'll probably celebrate properly once we're alone again. For now, we'll partake of soft-shell crabs and lobster bisque, and toast another year.
I'll never forget the judge who married us. She was an old black, Baptist justice of the peace who believed young people didn't have the foggiest notion what marriage was about. (She was right!) She did her best to scare the bejeezus out of us, but we stood our ground and assured her we were ready. (Ha!)
I remember her fondly because she was so stern and mean. I know now looking back, she was only looking out after our best interest. I guess she figured that if she couldn't scare us, we might be strong enough for whatever lay ahead.
Once the deed was done, she was all smiles and wished us well, but for a few tense minutes, I wasn't sure she was going to let us marry.
Thank you, Judge Armstrong. When we toast our 40 years, we'll be toasting you too, for giving us the benefit of the doubt.
I'm often asked what makes for a long, happy marriage. Lots of things come into play and it's different for every relationship. For me, it's honesty, equality, and a big dose of seeing the funny side of things. Life is hard. When both people have a good sense of humor it can lighten the load.
I think I chose wisely. I knew Greg would be the kind of guy who would be there even when times got rough.
What do you want most in a mate? Was it easy to find that kind of person?
I know. I find it hard to believe too.
Firstly, because I don't feel that old. And secondly, because it went by REALLY fast.
We have company all this week so we'll probably celebrate properly once we're alone again. For now, we'll partake of soft-shell crabs and lobster bisque, and toast another year.
I'll never forget the judge who married us. She was an old black, Baptist justice of the peace who believed young people didn't have the foggiest notion what marriage was about. (She was right!) She did her best to scare the bejeezus out of us, but we stood our ground and assured her we were ready. (Ha!)
I remember her fondly because she was so stern and mean. I know now looking back, she was only looking out after our best interest. I guess she figured that if she couldn't scare us, we might be strong enough for whatever lay ahead.
Once the deed was done, she was all smiles and wished us well, but for a few tense minutes, I wasn't sure she was going to let us marry.
Thank you, Judge Armstrong. When we toast our 40 years, we'll be toasting you too, for giving us the benefit of the doubt.
I'm often asked what makes for a long, happy marriage. Lots of things come into play and it's different for every relationship. For me, it's honesty, equality, and a big dose of seeing the funny side of things. Life is hard. When both people have a good sense of humor it can lighten the load.
I think I chose wisely. I knew Greg would be the kind of guy who would be there even when times got rough.
What do you want most in a mate? Was it easy to find that kind of person?
Comments
I wanted someone smart, funny, and kind. I was lucky enough to meet him in college and stubborn enough to endure a long-distance relationship and fifteen years of dating before we tied the knot. We've only been married ten years, but we've been a couple for twenty-five. Still have a way before we catch up with you!
My husband is my best friend. And he makes me laugh. A lot. :)
Stubbornness helps too. I should know. :)
betty
To survive all the bumps in the relationship road I think you have to really like and want the best for each other. When it's genuine, mutual respect can overcome just about everything love can't handle.
I think part of what makes us happily married is we have very similar life philosophies, we don't get in each other's way, we don't harp on each other about the small stuff, we enjoy each other's company while each having our own pursuits, and he stays out of my way when I need writing, coffee, chocolate, or my hormone shot. ;o)
You know, I've never tasted soft crabs. How sad. I'm struck by soft crab envy
Re; The judge is gone. I found out later she was the aunt to a lady I worked with at the Chicago Tribune.
I can't answer your question because the man I'm looking for doesn't exist. At least not on this planet. And if he does, he's already been taken.
As someone who also got married young, I was 19 and he was 21, it was a year of dating and learning that our compatible taste in music as well as food and our ability to talk about anything and everything without effort made us first very comfortable with each other and later very much aware that we complemented each other in ways that no one else had.
We were also friends first for a few years as we went to the same school, had the same playmates and lived on the same street at opposite ends so that set the stage for getting us together as far as dating once we both graduated High School 2 years apart.
Despite my Father and the Methodist Preacher having reservations we married and despite a few upheavals have had a good life together. Preacher is gone and so is my Dad but before my Father passed he had come to realize what a good man my husband is and considered him to be a son, which made me happier than I expected it too at the time he told me so.
12/11/1981-12/11/2015 will be 34 years of trial and error, good times and bad and we still are friends and more importantly still happily married. Also no restraining order needed in all those years! :-)
I haven't even been alive for 40 years ;)
Re: soft shelled crabs
We'll have to remedy that when you come for a visit. It's a delicacy one shouldn't miss.
Re: you'll be literally holding each other up
That's pretty much happening now.
As for a mate for me, well, I try not to laugh too hard at that thought lol!
What I look for most in a marriage is honesty. I've been married for 7 years this time around. lol... last one 16yrs.
I think communication is vital. If you cannot communicate daily something is wrong.
But all marriages, relationships have the ups and downs. After all, we are all human. :) Congratulations once again. Awesome. :)
Give them a hug for me.