When You Hit Your Wall

I generally run at two speeds, Super-fast, and Sleep-mode. It's the way I'm wired. But I'll bet money each and every one of you know what I mean when I say "hitting your wall".

It doesn't matter how you operate, there comes a time when your energy depletes to zero.

Most of the time the wall surprises me. That's because I always think I can get one more task done before I rest. Today, I know better. I can feel the wall coming for me.

I mentioned it to Greg yesterday, but I don't think he understood how imminent it was. He should. The last time something was imminent, I told him I was going to faint. (We were way up in the mountains and the air was super thin.) He kept telling me, 'You won't faint'. And that's when I dropped. He barely caught me!

Walls are personal creatures. They're as tall and impenetrable to each individual's threshold. I've hit it several times in my life. It's so sudden and painful I can barely move afterward. Part of that is my fault. I always think I can do more and that's when I'm reminded I'm only human--and a puny human at that.

Judging from what I read on social media, I think other people are hitting their walls too. They're tired of covid, politics, masks, and drama queens. We're tired both mentally and physically.

Now add that to my other burdens. I've got a dog that won't eat enough, another who goes lame, a cat that may or may not die depending on the time of day, and a husband who needs more medical attention than he used to.  Thank God the rest of my family is healthy!

Let's also add garden chores, preserving produce, cleaning pens, caring for farm animals, and keeping up with things that break down on a regular basis. 

Oh, and let's not forget the latest--greedy Terrell, Tx. wants to annex our unincorporated countryside. The last thing we need are higher property taxes.

I can feel that wall growing, brick by brick. I can tell it's coming because I sleep harder but rest less. Worse yet, I thoroughly resent Every. Single. Task. It's so unlike me. Before I just got them done, but now it takes enormous willpower not to snap at Greg for not helping.

Before I hit that wall, I can soften the blow with a few preemptive measures.

• The first thing on my list is to stop adding to my list. I'm not taking on any more favors, jobs, or honey-dos.

• Tip #2 is to get help. It's hard to get Greg to take on any of my stressors. He generally gets up a couple of hours after I do. In that time, I give the cat his medicine, feed dogs (and cat), unload the dishwasher or dryer, clean the litter box, walk one or both dogs, check my email, and pull out food from the freezer for dinner that night. Occasionally I'll feed the outside animals if he gets up extra late. 

Once he's up, he makes his coffee and then he sits down because his back hurts. Back pain is nothing to sneeze at. I think he has a compressed disc so I'm trying to do the heavier lifting myself so he doesn't make it worse. I make him breakfast and then we check gardens (they're still producing!), feed animals, and I clean the goat pens.

From there I either work on the gardens, or put up produce, unless we have errands to run in town. I hardly ever get around to house cleaning which drives me insane.

Even this blog is wearing me down. My goal is always to be upbeat and helpful. Today I decided to go for honest because I know I'm not the only one running head-first into that wall.

Which leads me to my third tip.

• Write it out. Identify what's dragging you down. Identify the bricks building your wall. Can you discard a few or put them off until later? Can you change the way you do things?

You can't help it if people or animals get hurt or sick. That's part of life and you have to work around them. The trick is not to add to your burdens--which as you can guess I'm not very good at doing.

So how do you tackle "the Wall"? Do you try to take preventative measures before it gets too big or do you push through the pain?