We All Fight A Private Battle


No matter how badly life treats you, remember that someone else might be having it worse.

Currently, I'm grumbling because every joint in my body hurts. I told Greg the other day that I think God does this deliberately, so we're glad to die when the time comes. 

Any time I start to feel sorry for myself, I remind myself that other people (and pets) have it worse.

My sister, for example, is planning a move across the country. She has an invalid husband, a dog that likes to destroy doors, and everything under God's green earth fighting her every step of the way. Her car battery keeps dying, her spigots are plugged, the garage door is busted, and she found out the moving pod she rented is too small. That was on one day alone.

I'm sending Greg to her early so he can help fix and move things for her. It's just so hard when you're on your own.

I wanted desperately to go too so I could help, but my dogs' babysitter isn't available, and Nana is too fragile to travel. 

As it stands my sister is going to have to leave more of her stuff. It's going to make for a very empty house wherever she ends up. I have a few pieces of extra furniture she can have if she likes them. We'll figure a way to get them up to her.

I wish she was moving closer to me, but she's moving closer to a daughter, which makes perfect sense. 

On the home front,  I got some terrible news. Jammy, the cat might not be with us much longer either! When he was a kitten, he had a slight heart murmur. I think it finally caught up with him.

As some of you know, he cannot swallow anything solid. Whatever I feed him has to be in a slurry. We can't even put a trach tube down him because of his deeply scarred trachea.

Over the past month he's been gaining fluid. We talked about medications and specialists, but our vet is also our friend. I told her that after all he's been through, I don't want to have to put him through any more procedures and drugs. She told me to take him home and love him for as long as he has.

So far, he's breathing normally. He doesn't do anything but sleep on the couch or next to Nana. Maybe he's already realized they're both on the short train ride, and that's why they lie together so often. 

He has been through so much. 

I nearly lost him three times, once when I found him. He was nothing but a little skeleton of a cat. I doubt he would've made it another day without food. The second time to the beetle that nearly destroyed his trachea, and last year to an infection that I caught in time. I don't think I can pull another rabbit out of my hat, not without hurting him along the way. He has a few months, maybe a little longer. It's hard to tell with cats. They're so good at hiding illness.

Nana has been having a couple of bad days, but she seems to feel better today. I'm sure it's just the heat. Still, I sense a change in her. She seems resigned, something you just don't see in a border collie. 

In a few days, I'm sending Greg to Arizona to help my sister move, on his birthday, no less--poor guy. I told Nana that if she has plans on dying, she needs to wait until after her father gets back.  

I have loads to do here, but no sooner did the rains let up, that Mother Nature turned the dial to Broil. We can manage a little work until 9am and then we have to go inside. 

I wish we could've gotten the shade cloth structure up, but that's a moot point now. 

That's my life this week.

What's new with you guys? I hope your news is better than mine.


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Comments

Dru Ann said…
I'm so sorry to hear this about Jammy. May her remaining time be comfortable and of comfort to you
Lynn said…
I'll keep little Jammy as well as Nana in my heart and thoughts, Maria. I wish I lived closer, too. If you need anything, let me know.
My good news is that with a lot of hard work on dieting and exercise I got my blood sugar back under control, and have lost 13 lbs. My doctor should be very happy with me at my next appt.
Maria Zannini said…
He's been a tough little cat.
Maria Zannini said…
Lynn: I know how hard you worked to control your blood sugar without meds. You have my sincere admiration. Very few people can accomplish that. Your doctor should post your picture to show other people it can be done. :-)

Well done!
Luba said…
Maria, it's normal to experience a range of different emotions during a move... sadness, anxiety, or even a sense of loss, especially if you've been close with your sister. I miss my sister a lot. She's an ocean away!! Were on "WhatsUp" every month, sometimes more, Loll! 🤭Nothing new with me... As with you Maria, just trying to stay cool. The humidity 🥵. Thinking of Jammy as his time draws near. I remember losing our Shadow. That was hard!!! 🥺

Ohhh my, I did not want to leave off on a sad note, Maria. SOooo I'll wish you a Happy 1st day of July and mark this month "Veterans Month!" 🇺🇸🎉

Hugs...🤗
Mike Keyton said…
I don't know what happened to my original comment, Maria, but all i can do is repeat how sorry i am for you all
Maria Zannini said…
Luba: You're such a kind soul.
Maria Zannini said…
It was weird, Mike. I saw the comment briefly on email, but when I went to my blog it said you had removed it.
Anyway, thanks for coming back.

In a way, this slow exit from our lives is kind of a blessing. It reminds us to be extra kind and patient with these two. It brings mindfulness to a whole new level.
Mike Keyton said…
Simple, really, Maria. My first message had too many fat finger typos, so i deleted it and replaced it with another message typo free. But when I checked next day all i saw was ’Removed by Admin ’ but no indication as ti who admin was or which message since neither were there. God and Meta work in wondrous ways
Mike Keyton said…
And you’re spot on re the impact of just being there for a friend or a suffering pet. Death highlights the true meaning if life